I can't believe more than a week has gone by since my last post. I understand that in the blogging world leaving your blog for that long can have devastating effects on readership so it's my hope the 20 or so regular readers of this blog will quickly recover and cut me some slack! It's not like I've had my, you know what, up my you know what but, at the same time where do people like Angelo have the time to constantly post!
I struggled with the heading for this one since, although many specific things worthy of a comment have happened in the past 2 weeks, lately I've found myself thinking of my dad more than usual and specifically just how proud he would be if he were alive today. My mom was the one who told me yesterday I had better get back on my blog because it makes her feel more informed but thoughts of my dad go much deeper than just the difficulties with keeping in touch with friends and family over great distances.
For the past few months he has been at the forefront of my mind for many reasons not the least of which is the interview and resulting story that just came out in the September issue of Island Locator.
First, what parent wouldn't be proud to see their kid on the cover of a magazine! No it's not National Geographic (yet) but it's still pretty cool. Second, recounting the making of the DVD forced me to think of him more than I do on a daily basis. I agreed to be interviewed for the story when Alexie said she wanted to take a personal angle to the DVD and how it came about. I'm not going to ruin the story but The Underwater World of Saipan is dedicated to my father.
There is no doubt in my mind that the DVD would not be what it is if it were not for his death and that it simply would never have been possible in the first place without the support of both my parents throughout my life. They have always given me the courage and encouragement to follow my dreams and the feeling of safety to reach out and strive to make them reality.
As a new Dad I'm now just beginning to get a taste of what it feels like to be proud of your creation and one of the hardest things about my fathers death was that he was taken from this world quickly and before I had the opportunity to talk to him Dad to Dad! I have so many questions for him now that it is rare a day goes by without him entering my thoughts.
Perspectives change and having a kid is one of those major paradigm shifting events in life that compares to little else. Perhaps the death of a parent but even then there is sorrow and difficulty with looking to the future while the birth of your first born conjures thoughts of future possibilities, excitement, happiness, love and yes incredible apprehension. All the emotions that make life worth living.
In addition priorities change overnight. It's now all about making a better life for your child or in his case the four of us. I can only imagine what it must have felt like for him to hear his son was going to quit his job as a pharmacist and become a dive bum! He worked his entire life for the same company at many times in a capacity he was not overly happy with but he continued to do it for us and I will be forever grateful for his dedication to his family.
As I mention in the story I often thought he must have been disappointed or upset with my decision to throw away 7 years of university education but now I'm beginning to see how, on that night, being on his side of the conversation more likely conjured up all the emotions that make life worth living. Although there was sure to be plenty of apprehension there was also love, excitement and the thought of all the possibilities that come with watching your own creation follow their own dreams. I only wish he could have been here in person to see the fruit of his life long support and hear me saying "It's done, that's it, the final version - want to watch it again, - Dad wake up!
I'll always take solace in knowing my Mom, wife and my daughter (only days old) were all there to hear those words!
Miss you Dad.
Update May 2008
Here's the full article courtesy of Island Locator. Click on the photos to enlarge.
Photos by Mark Robertson.
Correction to the Turtle Photo - it's a Hawksbill turtle!